Wednesday, 5 January 2011

Squirrel Sabotage

Squirrels have sabotaged my Sky+ HD box! I know they have. I know it was them. I know...

Dusk was descending as I set off for my daily run this evening, and as the light began to fade, Doris and I headed down into the leafy, tree-lined Clough. As we headed deeper into the depths of the woodland, the blue sky above disappeared; kidnapped by the trees. Further in we headed, as the cold began to take hold and mist swirled beneath us, creeping carefully around our feet.

'What was that?' I reacted rapidly, turning to glance behind me. That was strange, I'm sure I heard a noise. Or did I? I listened carefully; all I could hear now was the rippling of the brook and the hoot of an owl. 'That's early I thought.' But Owls aren't restricted to midnight are they? That's only in fiction.
'Must have been my mind playing tricks on me.' I thought as I jogged on, my feet now enveloped by the swirling shadows.
But then again... a rustling in the trees. I stopped. Still. Silent. Scanning.
There again. A noise; in the tree above me. I looked up. What was that? A bird? A bat? A squirrel?
No, surely not. I squinted hard into the darkness, but found it impossible to see betwixt the shadows.

Quickening my pace, I turned and headed out of the Clough; out of the veil of fog and shadowy gloom. The hoot of the Night's Watchman whispering behind me. And as I left the pathetic fallacy of the Clough behind, I was able to relax a little. How silly was I? Of course there was nothing watching me; paranoia was all it was.

Reaching the safety of my home, I placed the key in the lock and hearing the comfortable click, I relaxed.
An owl again... how strange, I'd never heard an owl outside of the Clough before.

An hour later, settled on the sofa, warm and cosy, I switched the TV on... nothing... and again... nothing.
I swung round. What was that at the door? It sounded like a faint, yet shrill, giggle.
A giggle?
A squirrel giggle!
Of course... how could I have been so naive. It all made sense now: the feeling of being watched, the rustle in the trees, and the owl; the night's watchman: the squirrels' watchman.

Whilst I had been innocently out running, the squirrels had convened a mission of sabotage. Why, only today the news revealed that birds have taken up the art of espionage.

And now it all makes sense. The owl stood sentry, spying on my dog and I, keeping watch whilst the squirrels stole and sabotaged by Sky+ HD box. Far fetched? I don't think so. Never underestimate a squirrel.

But I'm not beaten... oh no! You won't get the better of me squirrels... mark my words... I will be the victor in this battle.

Watch out Squirrels.

This is WAR!

Distance: 2 miles
Weather: Quite warm, with a light mist
Feeling: Vengeful!
See my run here


  1. Hi Maggie,
    I'm holding my side laughing from reading your post. Are you a writer by any chance? If not, perhaps something to consider!! The stories you tell are fabulous!

    Keep them coming!

  2. Pesky varmints have gotten to my Sky box before now. Problem is clearly widespread. Send for reinforcements.

    Great post & sounds like a lovely run.

  3. Sounds a bit of blair witch in those woods Maggie!

    I wish I got home from work when it was still light!

    Well done on the run!

    Twitt Twoo!

  4. tee hee... thanks everyone.

    Midge, believe it or not, I'm an English Teacher, we are well known for our penchant for the dramatic!!!

    Kate, it was a lovely run... silly sky box, we're certainly not the only ones to experience this problem!

    Martyn, it was verging on Blair Witch, but I kept talking myself out of that film... unfortunately the opening chapter of Great Expectations was also running through my head, where he's approached by a convict... and then for some reason a whole host of gothic horror... might try and leave work a tad earlier for my next run down there!! :-)

  5. Hmmm ... the squirrels have not only sabotaged your sky plus box - they also seem to have taken over your mind! They may take your sanity but they'll never get your imagination eh? Can't wait to see what adventures unfold on our 12miler this weekend!! Though I think it will be far more fun reading about it afterwards than it will be running it!! :0)

  6. Maggie I'm getting worrioed about you and this Janathon/marathon traaining - it seems to be sending you delirious! Tomorrow night we'll form a guard round you to protect you from the squirrels! Oh no it's catching!

  7. Ha ha... I will be expecting both you and Paula to be protecting me from squirrels from now on... the war has started and I can't be responsible for what chaos may ensue when I run!!! And Paula, I'm certain we've an eventful 12 miler to come on Saturday!! :-)

  8. Love it Maggie,great blog!!now which is becoming more addictive running or writing your blog?seriously though I think you should think about putting something to print because your blogs(and poems)are very entertaining!!xx

  9. Love your post. Far fetched? You probably just need more electrolytes!

  10. Awesome stuff, when the acorn drops I'll be there to call for reinforcements!!

  11. the blue sky above disappeared; kidnapped by the trees. I absolutely love that line! Great work!


Thanks for reading... feel free to leave me a message. Maggiee x