To my dear Readers,
As we reach the final day of June, I would like to take the opportunity to implore that you please excuse Maggie from her poor performance in Juneathon. When she signed up to the challenge of jogging, logging and blogging for a month she recognised that she may not manage to 'run' everyday, but she would certainly commit to some form of exercise each day instead. Unfortunately, her record in this area has been less than satisfactory, including many attempts to 'pass off' routine activities, such as walking the dog and visiting the supermarket, as 'exercise' as well as 'inventing' new forms of 'exercise' such as walking in heels around a race course and car dancing.
Maggie accepts that, in making the commitment to Juneathon, she should have have applied greater motivation and effort to achieve her goals; certainly she now realises that if she'd applied her time more effectively she would have had more time for exercise, rather than wasting it on the various ridiculous excuses.
However, despite having been unable to blog for a couple of days, Maggie has been in no way sitting idle; instead, as Juneathon draws to a close, she has seized the opportunity to try and redeem her lack lustre exertions in some way and consequently has been working very hard. In fact, as I write this, Maggie is currently jogging home from work after walking there this morning; making Juneathon Day 30 a nice, neat 10k round trip. As you can see, Juneathon has certainly not been forgotten. In fact, with the desire to make up for her inadequacies, Maggie mangaed to make Juneathon Days 28 and 29 the most significant of them all; not only will the following story adequately explain her absence from the Juneathon community for the past couple of days, but it will also reveal to you her most exciting discovery of a brand new, and exceedingly unique form of exercise, undertaken by no other Juneathoners in the entirety of the challenge.
It all began on the morning of June 28th. Arriving at work for the day, Maggie began her usual routine of planning, marking and catching up on unread emails. However, after about 20 minutes of working, she realised that, not only was she a little bit peckish and in need of her morning porridge but, she also rather desperately needed a wee. Leaving her little cabin in the yard, she chose an alternative route to usual through the school and up to the staff room, knowing that there was a disabled toilet slightly closer by that she would be able to 'nip into'. Now, although she knew of this toilet on the far side of school, Maggie had never actually used it before; however, a toilet's a toilet's a toilet, right?
Wrong.
This toilet wasn't just any toilet. This toilet was a magical, time travelling toilet, and when Maggie re-opened the door post wee, she was met with a sight that defied belief: Gone were the drab green walls; gone were the cramped claustrophobic corridors; gone were rows of classroom doors. In their place stood a wide open space, banked with windows above, around and beyond as far as the eye could see. Students, gradually beginning to fill the space, calmly passed each other via the various tiered, floating travellators which seemed to disappear into nothing, the students 'vanishing' before her eyes. Maggie rubbed her eyes. Clearly she'd fallen asleep in the toilet and was now having some strange science-fiction dream. She pinched herself. She rubbed her eyes again. She tried all the clichés. But the scene before her eyes remained.
Despite the bizarre nature of what lay before her, Maggie's natural curiosity soon took over so, leaving the 'safety' of the toilet she tentatively stepped onto a travellator and allowed it to glide her through the 'building'. Never had she seen such fascinating sights; A building encompassing floor to ceiling bright, open learning spaces; in every room happy, engaged smiling faces; all around her smart, stimulating technology not yet created.
And so, my dear friends, Maggie spent the rest of the day taking in the wonders of this new world until, at last, as the novelty began to wear off and the water she'd drank began to wear through, she was reminded of the tiny toilet by which she'd been transported to this amazing place and she began to make her way back. However, no sooner had she stepped onto the first travellator, than she was confronted with the most electrifying and energising discovery of them all. Immediately, thinking of her Juneathon commitment and the promise she had made herself to be more motivated for the final few days, Maggie was galvanised into action and within minutes she'd picked up the rules and was looking like a pro; 30 exhilarating minutes later, she was back at the toilet and back in her own time.
The next day, with the astonishing experience still fresh in her mind, Maggie, understandably, was unable to focus. Try as she might, she just couldn't keep concentration; her mind wandering back to the world she'd experienced. At the end of the day, as she was leaving school, she 'unexpectedly' found herself back outside the tiny toilet and, before she was even aware of it herself, she was back inside: back to the future.
My dear friends, I'm sure you would love to hear about that intoxicating second day; I'm sure you'd read on open mouthed in amazement at the wondrous events that occurred; and I'm certain you'd be intrigued to hear why she'll never be able to return again. However those are stories for another time. For now, I return to my initial request and, indeed, reason for writing: that you are able to find it in your hearts to please excuse Maggie from her poor performance in Junethon over much of the 30 days; for she really did redeem herself in the final few days of the challenge, when she perfected and became: a professional Hoverboarder.
With best wishes to you all,
Optimistimaggie. x
Juneathon Days 28 and 29:
Activity: Hoverboarding
Distance: 100's of miles that don't exist yet
Time: days and days of time that hasn't occurred yet!
Feeling: Futuristic
Juneathon Day 30:
Activity: 3 mile walk to work and 3 mile run home again
Distance: 6 miles
Time: 1hr 15 minutes
Feeling: Finished!
You know, including the miles marched up and down the NUT picket line outside the school gates would have been acceptable!
ReplyDeleteI wasn't striking or picketing... I was proper working!!! Not my Union!! :-)
ReplyDeleteYay, well done! Loved your blog! x
ReplyDeleteExcused but only because I always love your blog.
ReplyDeleteHoverboarding is fully in line with the spirit of Juneathon. I'm surprised we didn't see more of it
ReplyDeleteI like the sound of that place - where's this toilet??
ReplyDeleteI'm a bit scared of the toilets I've never used at school. They are all (gasp) student toilets. I'm not sure they are worth going into even for time trave.
...and how come no one has got in a reference to the captain's log yet?!
ReplyDeleteAs if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared!
ReplyDeleteRofl... Captain's log!!
ReplyDeleteFattipuff... Stay away from the toilets - far worse things than the future ate more commonly found there!!
Loved Mr Ben!!!
MCCCFLLLYYYYYY!!!!
ReplyDeleteWel done on completing.. I had a crap one too! Role on Janathon! :)
Please keep bloggin!
p.s my blogg rss feed has changed as I bought the demain www.marts2smooth.com so you might have to update your blog roll...