The Rescue Run

All this time I've been worried about squirrels impeding our running... and today, when crisis occured, it was nothing to do with those damned squirrels!

My day started like any other saturday - Lazily... I woke up, donned my dressing gown and plodded downstairs to break my fast. With a 16 mile run planned, I knew I was going to need some rocket fuel in the banks so I began with two slices of wholemeal toast topped with organic, crunchy peanut butter; Mmmm...  what a way to start the day. Completing my meal with a large cup of tea, I headed off into the kitchen for second breakfast.  What?!... Hobbits do it!... and anyway, this is a serious nutrition plan! After trialing many different forms of on the run rations: energy gels (hold on bowels!), jelly babies (any difference??), jelly beans (oops... swallow whole and choke) and Lucozade tablets (hold on again bowels!); I decided that maybe a better course of action would be to focus on filling myself full of carbohydrates before then run, rather than during! So, with this in mind, a nice bowl of golden syrup porridge topped me up nicely.

'Right... ready for a run,' I thought to myself. Except, no. Following the '7 miles that were really 8' debacle on Wednesday, I thought it sensible this time to plot a proper route using the internet; taking into account any untoward hills and avoiding running a marathon before we were ready. So, sitting down at the internet, I began.

An hour later, and my laptop was about to experience what it's like to fly! Paula described it as the over-use of technology, and really that was my problem. I knew I wanted 16 miles; I could make 14, 15, 15.3, 17.8... but I could I get 16? Could I heck!  I phoned Paula: A natural problem solver. She solved.

Dressed, drink, drive... Finally, half an hour later than planned, I met with Paula.

Setting off along the road, Jack Frost biting at our fingers, we chatted away about a multitude of matters: what might occur on our run; how the turtle and the fish were getting along; plans for the evening - pizza and a dvd... maybe a glass of wine... Ooooh, and some pik 'n' mix... when... DISASTER!

Paula, had pulled up, just after the 2.5 mile mark, hopping on one leg, the other waving weakly in the air. This is never good; runners need two legs! For a while now, she's been experiencing a clicking sound in her knee when she runs; not giving her any bother, she'd dismissed it - as we all do - as something to worry about later. Now was the later.

We stopped and looked bewiledered for a bit. She stretched. I looked bewildered. She tried trotting a few yards. I looked bewildered. She tried stretching again. I looked bewildered.
"Maybe we should go back?... but can you walk? Could we get you to Natalie's?" Oh... bewilderment!
"I think I'll try again" she offered. "It might be okay now I've rested it." She started off, hopefully, down the road: run... run... run... run... run... run.. "It's working!" She exclaimed "I'm cured!" run... run... hop!
She wasn't cured. It was also clear she couldn't walk. This called for: SUPERMAGGIEE!
"Right." I said authoritively, snapping out of my bewilderment and taking charge. "Take the water bottle, wait here... I'm going to run for the car and rescue you!"
I thrust the bottle into her hands and flew up the road.

'My friend needs me.' I thought to myself as each foot struck the pavement, the sound of rescue in my ears. 'No-one else can help her now.' I told myself. 'It's up to you. Keep going, push on, Protect Paula.' Each strike of my shoe on the street was bringing me one step closer to the car; gaining speed now, faster and faster, I felt in the zone. 'I will rescue my friend, I will!' Reaching the hill, I increased my effort; hauling myself up it. 'Run Maggie, Run!' I told myself. 'Paula needs you. Run!'  Reaching the half way point, I switched my mind into racing mode. This was a race: a race against time. Paula was waiting on a wall for my rescue, just under 2 miles away, getting colder and colder! 'Run Maggie, Run.' I pushed myself. Reaching the 5 mile mark, I knew I was nearly there. Just one more last effort to the top of the hill... 'You can do it! I told myself outloud, scaring some old ladies at the bus stop, 'You can do it' I screamed, not caring anymore because I was nearly there; I was rescuing my friend; I was... SUPERMAGGIEE! Arriving at my car, I lept in... no time for stretching! no time for idilling! Paula needed me... and was off.

Traffic jam.

10 minutes later, I rescued Paula... I'd have been quicker running back!

So I may not have managed 16 miles today; but I've managed something much more noble. And I've realised why we do all that out and back training at club! Tomorrow brings a new day, and another attempt at a long run; assuming no more of my friends need rescuing! Although I'm thinking now of going back to the original mileage on my plan, thus dropping back this week and throwing the cheeky 16 in next week instead. For now, I shall retire for some well earned lunch (only one of those) with a sense of pride, carrying the memories of how, today, I became Maggie the Rescuer... SUPERMAGGIEE!

Distance: 5.35 miles (with a much quicker uphill return!!)
Weather: cloudy, chilly and frosty
Feeling: Super!! :-)
See my run here.

Newspeak from The CRASIES...

The CRASIES has a new logo... I didn't like the other one as it didn't adequately communicate the unified and encouraging nature of us runners in the face of the encroaching squirrel empire. This, however, I think does:

Look at their smiley faces... they KNOW those squirrels are no match for the CRASIES!  Exciting news is there is now an additional branch to the cult group, for those of you who have been experiencing increased concern as to the threat of foxes; who have been recently mobilised by the squirrels - don't believe the age-old hype that foxes eat squirrels, that's playing straight into their hands paws! Martyn is officially leader of the CRASIESAF, an important branch to this operation, situated in Wales; If you have any concerns over other forms of wayward wildlife, in your particular area, then please let me know.

As with all great campaigns, I think the time has come to propagate some propaganda; so what follows is a fictional, factual video of the real and present danger the squirrels represent. Close your windows... Lock your doors... and join the cause...

Music: Sandman by Metallica

Tonight was another recovery run, in preparation for my long run tomorrow and following the endurance speed session last night, just a mile for fear of the squirrels though;  thankfully I'll have Paula with me tomorrow... Added protection!

Distance: 1.2 miles

Weather: A beautiful red sunset combined with low lying horror movie style mist in places!

Feeling: better by the day!... think I might cheer myself up and do a Janathon total miles tomorrow! :-)

See my run here.

The Turtle and The Fish

Once upon a time, deep under the sea, there were two great friends - a Fish and a Turtle. Each week, the Fish and the Turtle would meet up and swim together amongst the reef and the reeds, chatting and enjoying each others company. As the days, weeks and months passed by, the Turtle and the Fish became better at swimming; each noticing that they were becoming stronger, more confident and capable of swimming further than they had ever, at first, imagined.

Realising that they were ready for their next challenge, the Fish and the Turtle took a deep breath and signed up for the Very Long Maraswim; a challenge they could only have dreamed of completing only a couple of years before.

The Fish and the Turtle leaped into their training with vigour and enthusiasm; and, as they did so, they continued to become stronger, more confident and capable of swimming even further than they had ever imagined. Everything was going well until one day, when the Turtle realised that the three strokes she had been behind the fish, was now six. The next day, the six strokes became twelve; and the next the twelve became twenty-four; until the turtle was swimming so far behind the fish, she could no longer see the her collage of colours flickering ahead in the twilit waters.

The turtle slumped down on a near by sand bar and sulked.
"What's wrong?" Asked a passing Sea Horse.
"I'm so slow... so much slower than my swimming partner; I can't swim with her anymore." Explained the Turtle. "I always thought she'd be a little bit faster than me, but I didn't think we'd be this different."
The Sea Horse thought for a little bit, then turned to the Turtle: "It's not so much that you're slower than the Fish that's the problem; you're capable of swimming just as spectacularly. However, I can see you're upset so I do have some magic medicine which will help you if you wish?"
The Turtle thanked the Sea Horse very much and accepted the magic medicine gratefully.
"All you have to do is sprinkle a little of it over your head every day, whilst saying the magic words I give you." Explained the Sea Horse, "And soon, before you know it, you'll be sprinting through the water as sprightly as your friend again."
And as the Sea Horse whispered the magic words into the Turtle's ear, the Turtle understood what had to be done.

Over the next few weeks, the Turtle and the Fish continued to swim at different speeds, sometimes together, sometimes alone, but as always the Fish was supportive, encouraging her friend to swim alongside as much as possible. Each night, the Turtle would sprinkle the magic dust, the Sea Horse had given her, over her head and say the magic words. Slowly, very slowly, the Turtle started to swim better and better, until finally, she was swimming confidently and capably, but most importantly, cheerily alongside her fishy friend.

Noticing the new found tenacity in her turtlely pal, inevitably the Fish was curious as to what had turned the Turtle's swimming fortunes around. The Turtle told her friend all about the magic dust and the magic words she had chanted each night and how, even though the magic dust had run out after a few days, she'd continued to say those magic words every night; until eventually, little by little, she'd become more confident, capable and cheerful. Eager to know the magic words, the Fish asked if the Turtle would share them with her.
"Of course," Replied the Turtle, "And they're so easy to remember just: Patience, Perseverance and Positivity. Three simple words, but they make such a difference."

How the story ends no-one knows; We like to think that the Turtle continued to believe in herself, and to make progress, and that the Turtle and the Fish completed the VLM together.

Distance: 4.1 miles - 5 mins @ 5k pace with 1 min recovery x 5. +1 lap Hunt Lane warm up and cool down.
Weather: cold - 0.
Feeling: slow again!
See my run here.

We Need You...

After reading many comments yesterday about the Squirrels, it has become very clear that this squirrel threat is something that needs to be confronted. There are too many of us living in fear. How many of you are now facing a fretful night ahead, anxious that the Squirrels will attack whilst you are at your most vulnerable? How many of you are wondering if your morning run will bring joy to your hearts tomorrow, or instead a stab of sickness as you realise you are being stalked, once again, by squirrels? How many of you dread, daily, tying up your trainers for yet another threatened trot around the block?

It doesn't have to be this way!

Do you want to feel the breeze in your hair instead of fear in your hearts? Of course you do. We all do. We can do.

Already, our community is joining as one against these squirrels; this is how we will ensure their demise and our domination in this war. We need to stick together; work together; rise up together!
Join us and join the battle against squirrel domination.

Together we can stop their intimidation of runners and make the world a safer place to live in. Together, we can stop these savage swine from stalking our innocent allies. Together, we will protect our friends from these fiends.

Don't wait for the worst.

Join us.

Join now. 

Join the Collective of Runners Against the Savage, Intimidating and Encroaching Squirrels.

The CRASIES need you.

Oh, and I also went for a 7 mile run, that was actually an 8 mile run with Paula this evening... might get her to plot our route next time!!...
Distance: 8.1 miles
Weather: it's got cold again! 3 degrees.
Feeing: much better than I thought I would, and confident we can beat these squirrels!
See my run here.

Off to the nut house?...

Dear Aunty Agony,

Having been an avid reader of your advice for some years now, I know you are the only person I can turn to with the crisis I am currently facing. As a happy, relaxed and confident 32 year old woman, I have never had cause to question my sanity; believing, mendaciously,  to know my own mind. Thus, when I eagerly began the Janathon challenge, just 18 days ago, and consequently began to be stalked by squirrels – subjected to the terrible torment of their evil eyes – naturally, I took this threat at face-value; I knew it to be real: I feared for my safety.  Moreover, in many ways feeling responsible for the antagonism of these animals (having inadvertently incepted the idea into the squirrel community that I posed a threat to them), I have taken it upon myself to warn other runners of this rodent risk.

Lately, the comments of friends and family have lead me to conclude that they must doubt the reality of this threat; comments (which were intermittent at first, yet now more frequent) about this intimidation have included language such as: ‘perceived’, ‘paranoid’ and ‘preposterous’. Clearly, and sadly, those whom are close to me believe that this menace is a mental one; only within my own mind.

It is this that concerns me Aunty Agony. It was whilst I was on my mile recovery run today, once again feeling the presense of their beady eyes, that I began, for the first time, to doubt myself.  These are the people I hold dear, the ones with whom I hold my closest connections; their perturbance at my supposed paranoia is only due to the predilection they hold of me. It is for this reason, that I am slowly beginning to question myself: Am I paranoid? Deranged? Insane? Is this threat a fancy of my imagination? Is the torment of the squirrels simply a pseudo simulation?

Aunty A, in short. Am I nuts?

Yours disquietedly,

maggie e
 

Dear Maggie,

Are you mad? This is insanity!

Of course you are worried by the comments of those closest to you; the thought that you are losing your mind is quite frankly fearful.

This is ridiculous! Of course you are not going mad: the squirrels are a real and present threat to our society.

A little known entity for a long time now, they have been building their army slowly and gradually. As I am sure you are more than aware, you only have to google on the internet to discover the very real and dangerous dynamite they are.

Maggie, you are taking exactly the right course of action and you must continue to do so: warn everyone you can about this squirrel impendence. Don’t give up. Tell anyone who’ll listen. Spread the word.  For the time being, there are only a few of us who know the horrendous hazard humans face, however if we continue to work together to propagate this peril we will be victorious.

The squirrels cannot win Maggie. We must fight them on the beaches, we must fight them in the parks and we must fight them ‘till we win. Nuts to the squirrels!

Yours victoriously,

Aunty Agony.

Distance: 1.1 miles
Weather: clear and chilly
Feeling: okay.
See my run here.

What if...

An out and back at Club today where the idea is to run out in 20 minutes and run back in 18. I've decided to depict my feelings on the run in pictorial form:

Don't worry, I'm still alive... just!

Distance: 4 miles
Weather: clear and quite a nice, mild temperature
Feeling: slow!
See my run here. (later I manage to upload it!!)

And the thanks go to...

Firstly, thank you to all those of you who commented on my blog yesterday; you made Paula and I even more proud of our 14 mile achievement... I'm also glad to hear the long runs get easier as well Chris, that's maybe the best news of my weekend!

Today, unbelievably, I have managed to hit yet another first; they just keep coming at the moment! Today (and I'm so proud, I really am) I ran the SLOWEST I have ever run!

However, I can't take full credit for this, and so in true form, on accepting this award for slowest Magathon running ever, I would like to take the opportunity to thank:

 - Wandering Bear, and Dirty Take Away Pizza whom I met and partied with last night. I never would have achieved such a low level of fitness today if it hadn't been for their support throughout the night. I guess here I should give a special mention to Wandering Bear, recognisable by her fresh bouquet and pretty pink glow, who introduced me so lovingly to Dirty Take Away Pizza at around 3am in the morning. Thank you so much.

- Take That (well the tribute version anyway) who, despite looking (and possibly sounding) nothing like Take That, kindly collaborated with Wandering Bear to keep me up all night (sorry, couldn't resist it) and dancing in my gorgeous high heeled shoes so that Feet died a little and screamed at me to stop running for the entirety of my mile-long mission.




Apparantly this is Howard from Take That... not so sure about that one, but for those old-school Hollyoaks fans out there, he was Mark Gibbs who bullied Luke; in fact it seems he's also been in Two Pints of Lager and Dream Team, but it was with his Hollyoaks role I chose to embarass him!


- Natalie whom,  I must add at this point, deserves a very special mention (and not just because she joined the 30's club yesterday) but because without her, last night, I would never have met Wandering Bear, Dirty Take Away Pizza and Take That (Including afroementioned man in photo who can sing very well but clearly looks NOTHING like Howard Donald!). Thank you Natalie (and Happy Birthday!!).



My beautiful friend Natalie, who's 30th birthday we were celebrating yesterday.


Thank you all for your contribution, but more so for a FANTASTIC night (and there's no sarcasm there, it really was). However I can't help thinking there was possibly a more... urmmm... beneficial?... healthy?... boring?... way to recover from my longest run ever.... hmmmmm... maybe I'll mull that one over whilst I have a kip on the couch!

Distance: 1.1 miles
Weather: light drizzle
Feeling: toxic!
See my run here.